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“The pain and limitations of the fibromyalgia aren’t what get to me, it’s the daily grinding of my teeth when I’ve been in pain for so long that I can no longer focus and pay attention to what is going on around me and I snap, usually at the one I love. It isn’t fair, this disease, illness isn’t fair. But who said life was fair? It is my cross to bear an bear it I will! But I will find a way to cope with it, to deal with the up and down in pain levels, anxiety, mental fogginess.”   -September 23, 2008

It wasn’t enough I was bipolar, in 2006 I began to notice weird feelings. My left leg went numbish once, I was having severe pain my in pelvic area, indigestion, diarrhea, Something was off, but being a bipolar patient, people are quick to dismiss your myriad of confusing symptoms as hypochondria, or shuttle you off to see someone else.  I was also having headaches, which was obviously a nuerological thing, but the rest of the symptoms were so vastly different and weird.

Because of the pelvic pain, I ended up seeing an ob/gyn. She diagnosed me with endometriosis. I had a laproscopy, and was sent home as having the “most beautiful uterus” she had ever seen. I was about at my wits end, until my mom recommended I get checked out for fibromyalgia- fibrowhat!! So I did, and it turned out I very much was suffering from fibromyalgia, so much so that the pain areas in the hips were what was radiating in my pelvic region and causing so much pain.

When the doctors evaluated me, I had 17 of the 18 points as severe. They have 9 points on the each side body which are trigger points for pain, so 18 all together. They do this fun pressure test where they poke you with various pressure. Yes, that is so much fun! So I left with the “spots” as I lovingly referred to them as on fire.

Luckily I married in 2008 and we got pregnant in December.  My pregnancy put the FM (fibromyalgia) into remission. Today I still get twinges, especially when I get cold.  But I am lucky in that it subsided.  I think having fought so hard to stability from bipolar helped me learn things that I applied to coping with FM. It’s another silent disease, one that is unseen from the outside world and highly misunderstood.  But by now, I’m pretty much used to being misunderstood.