Recently in life I’ve begun to realize that I am Passionate about prayer. Never did I think I would grow up one day and become someone who prays several times a day, who reads books about prayer, or who would start a Prayer Ministry at my church, but here I am. (Seriously, I know a lot of people who would be shocked!)
Prayer is something that I’ve somehow become a student of. I’m definitely more of a Luke Skywalker stumbling around in the swamp then say Obi Wan Kenobi, but here I am. And I’m totally fine with that, except for being wet all the time. I’ve far from mastered anything when it comes to God, Jesus, the Bible, or this whole christianity thing. I’m just a girl, who needs God, and prays.
I think it all started when I was a young girl and was taught to pray. My life pretty much has been one stumbling block after another, and if you read this blog you will definitely see lots of blocks I’ve stumbled over. Add in a good dose of humility, and when faced with a daunting life event I pretty much fall to my knees, and my face.
There is a saying, “No one gets out alive,” which I pretty much applied to my life starting in high school. While it’s hedonistic, its also very profound in the life of a believer. Someday I’m going to die, and where am I going to go? For me, I want to go to heaven, that’s my belief system, and that’s my desire. So how am I going to cope with living in this world? For me, that’s Prayer.
Struggling with bipolar is hard enough when life doesn’t throw you a curve every now and again. Somedays it’s tough for me just to get out of bed. The more time I spend in prayer, the easier it becomes to get out of bed on those bad days, and stay there. I’ve learned that if I want to just wallow in self-pity, I can just turn off the prayer. But it hurts.
When times get dark, I just think to myself, “I just need Jesus!” Prayer doesn’t make things better, it doesn’t take away the dark days or the bad stuff of life, but it does make it a little easier to endure knowing there is a God who loves me and would do anything for me. So for today at least, I pray.