“Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ … For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
-The Apostle Paul, 2 Corinthians 12:7-10
As Paul suffered from an unknown torment. I to suffer the sometimes disabling illness of bipolar disorder. We will never know what Paul suffered, the speculation is endless, but I believe the vagueness of what he suffered allows each of us today to read this passage and identify with him. Paul’s words speak to me, and give me comfort and hope, and above all they give me purpose. Even with the “thorn in my side” God can use me for His purpose.
For years I struggled, and have asked God to heal me, to take this burden from me. He never has. In fact he told me the opposite, that He would not take this burden away. In time I would come to see it as a source of strength and perseverance. Exactly the kind of training I needed for the destiny God is calling me to.
This is what Thornsyde Ministries is all about. This is where it begins.
This is my story. This is my calling. I know I am called to help those in darkness find their way into the light, into the arm of Jesus who is waiting to bring healing from all of life’s hurts and help deliver people out of bondage.
I am Fallen, Fractured, and Forgiven! In Faith I step out to answer the call the Lord was placed upon my heart. This is a Record of my journey and a Resource for others to bring hope, knowledge, and understanding.
I knew in my early teens the call God had place upon my life. Today I am passionate about sharing what I’ve learned and continue to learn in both the lives of my spiritual walk with God and my struggle with mental illness. Two lives which at first seem so disparate yet coincide so often.
My Bipolar Story
Bipolar, or Manic-Depressive illness, runs strongly in both sides of my family. I began experiencing interruptions in my life at the age of 20 and was diagnosed at 24. My diagnosis is specifically Bipolar 2, but due to negligence and ignorance I was given medications on two occasion which resulted in manic episodes.
My Spiritual Journey
I am often asked why I believe what I believe. From non-christians the question is more about why or how I came to believe in God. From christians it’s more about why I believe so strongly in spiritual warfare. The answer to both questions is the same: Because I’ve seen evil. I’ve seen how satan works, I’ve seen the destruction he can cause, and I believe Christians are called to stand up against the enemy. But it’s very hard to explain to people who don’t believe in satan why they need to be on guard.
If you are interested about the specifics of my spiritual journey, I have written a series of blog posts which may enlighten you on my walk. I hope you will have gain an understanding of my story and why I believe what I believe. Thank you for taking the time to explore. May God Bless you and continue to work in you each day as He has in me.